Another day comes and goes and I’ve made sure over the years I’ve tucked you neatly in the deep recesses of my heart. Today was unusual. I was reading Us Weekly and Oasis came up so I wanted to revisit their songs–which of course led to Punk Goes Acoustic–which led to bawling my eyes out. It’s so crazy how I can push you so far away from my memory and even put to rest the fact that you’re never coming back, yet the minute I hear those songs we talked about and I’m a weeping mess. All I have is our memories which I treasure when I am brave enough to let them out and revisit them. I’ve tried for as long as I can to revive life into the death you put between us. I can only do so much. It doesn’t take away the hurt or erase your memory. I wish I could find someone who adored me the way you did. I’m sorry I never acknowledged it. I was so self absorbed and going through my own life trying to figure out how I wanted to live it. I had to go off and forge my own way and honestly it’s made me the woman I am today. There’s more I’d say but I don’t want to do so publicly. I wish you well in whatever makes you happy. I wish I could be a friend to see it, but I know that you will go far, as you already have. Just don’t forget your first and favorite muse.

For now, I tuck you neatly back where I keep you, a part of my heart that I revisit ever so often.

I guess the most that I can do

Is make a call and tell you the truth

Sing the words in melody

And hope that you’ll believe me

Here’s another song for you

So this one this one makes two

Still don’t know where to begin

I’ll just leave it at this

I’m sure you always feel my eyes on you

But i hope that you will never feel unwanted

Wait for me to move out west

It’s ok if you don’t

I hope you know

You’re my favorite thing

About the west coast

I wish I stayed

I hope you wait

So here I am

Counting down the days

Till California comes

This is the least that I can do

You know I’m bad at calling you

The best way I can accept

The lonely words I miss you

I’ll say it but I’m sure you knew

You’re what I look most forward to

Coming back to where I’ve been

I’ll just leave it at this

I’m sure you always feel my eyes on you

But I hope that you will never feel unwanted

If you feel unwanted

Wait for me to move out west

It’s ok if you don’t

I hope you know

You’re my favorite thing

About the west coast

I wish I stayed

I hope you wait

So here I am

Counting down the days

Till California comes

Wait for me to move out west

It’s ok if you don’t

I hope you know

You’re my favorite thing

About the west coast

I wish I stayed

I hope you wait

So here I am

Counting down the days

Till California comes

Till California comes